Why Do People Like to Play God?

The belief of a Jehovah Witness is that only one God, Jehovah him/her self is the only person, or thing than can be idolized. Being a Catholic and trust me not a practicing one, there are other beliefs of this religion (JW) that I don’t agree with. However, their dedication to idolize one true God is one that I wholeheartedly support, especially when dealing with those who think their on par with the almighty. This article is not about religion though it started out that way but about those who obtain power and become obsessed with the likes of the “yesses” (pronounced Yes-ses. Plural for yes, I made it up

The “yesses” are those who would do anything for a person they perceive as having some sort of power. In corporate America the “god” like personas are the executives, VPs, managing partners, etc. These individuals with these titles are regarded as the second coming of Christ. The sad thing is they know it and will capitalize on it as much as they can. The even sadder part is the individuals that cater to them while giving up their integrity and soul. Being in corporate America for 22+ years I somewhat think I’ve seen it all. I say somewhat because I’m sure there’s more to come. What’s sparking me to write this article is a particular instance that proved these “top notch” people are not God and if you’re a “yesses” you should watch who you obsessively cater to.

Recently the managing partner of my firm, which is the equivalent of a CEO, abruptly resigned and took employment at a competitor firm. Oh and here’s the killer he also took his clients and anywhere between 5-10 junior and senior associates. In the legal world this is a serious blow. The business model in a law firm is quite simplistic. You have clients, they pay; the firm stays afloat. If you lose clients, Houston there’s a problem and right now my firm is in Houston mode. The ironic part of this whole situation is the faces of those who feel betrayed, not because he left but because they kissed his ass so much. They’re in shocked that he left them and didn’t even say good-bye.

This man was like God to these yesses. When he came into the office everyone got quiet. People said hello to him and he wouldn’t respond and guess what that was OK; he’s Mr. Big Shot he doesn’t have to speak. Whenever he called someone they came running. If he so happened to pay a compliment the yesses ran with it. If he were upset the yesses were ready to give up their first born to make him happy. I recall a time in which I had to tell someone who was getting on my case about him to calm down. This person was literally having a breakdown and citing that the situation was the worst thing that could have happened in the world. I reminded her that Hurricane Katrina was a tragedy; not having access to his Outlook mailbox doesn’t constitute a world disaster, jeez.

The problem the yesses now face with treating this man like God is that they treated everyone else like shit including those second in command. I’m sure by now you can guess what happened. The second in command is now in command and these yesses are going crazy trying to rectify themselves. In my opinion it’s too late. This guy knows bullshit when it’s in front of him. There’s no way these yesses are going to get past him. Memory can be an asset but to some it’s a hell of a liability. See, you should never idolize or praise blind allegiance to any “man”. Everyone is human and in the words of Jamie Foxx’s character Wanda, “they put their underwear on one leg at a time just like me”. The only aspect of life that should be worshipped is God. I’m not trying to get religious but it is true that “he” would never leave you. The yesses are experiencing what they should of known all along “man” has choices; meaning he can get up and go without any loyalty to you. God on the other hand doesn’t operate that way and to treat someone with the same loyalty you would to the Lord is just sickening.

I’m not sure if these yesses are programmed this way or if there are self-esteem issues and frankly I don’t care. The only part that affects me is I do believe others expect me to behave in the same manner and I can’t. This is when I become a Jehovah Witness. I can’t for the life of me kiss somebody’s ass. If I have work to do I’ll do it, even with a smile. But I can’t tolerate someone who can’t even convey simple day-to-day pleasantries, who barks orders and who can see you in public and act as if they’ve never seen you before. See with that type of bullshit I can’t kiss nobody’s ass. Sorry it’s just not for me.

With the departure of this individual I am a little saddened for the state of my firm; after-all it does affect my primary income. However, the look on the faces of the yesses is just priceless. F*ck the Master card commercials this took the cake (LOL). Personally I hope a lot of lessons are learned though I doubt they will be. I for one am happy that I am true to the human species. We are equal and I will treat you as you treat me. As the saying in the bible goes, “do onto to others as they do onto you”. I don’t know about the rest of you but if you are a yesses I hope you read your bible and take heave. Man is ONLY Man and nothing more!

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

These very words that are mentioned in wedding ceremonies hold so true when confronting antics within corporate America or at least that’s the wish of many of our so-called colleagues.

After 22 years in corporate America you would think by now I would be use to the “watch what you say”, “don’t say it”, “watch your tone” or the best of them all “just be quiet.” I for one have always had a problem with all these particular responses to issues. According to most of my Caucasian colleagues I get the impression that these responses refer to hostility, aggressiveness and lack of teamwork, which is always a red flag. However, I wonder why can’t they just be viewed a valued opinions, which is what most of their responses are viewed as??

Recently and once again I don’t why I’m amazed but I came across a situation where I felt it necessary to defend myself. As many of you know I’m currently employed within the technology sector. And as I said many of times the celebrity of technology positions are not what they use to be. Here’s the scenario, the company that employs me was upgrading its fax software. A massive email was sent out via the technology group, plus a training schedule and updates. It turned out the upgrade did not apply that morning but later on during the afternoon. A confirmation email had been sent to all users from the vendor stating the upgrade has taken change and their fax numbers have been ported over. Now, remember the communication that had been previously sent. Once the vendor sent out their communication I started to receive a flurry of emails asking me what is going on? Is this spam mail? What’s happening to the current program, etc. etc.? The most famous of these emails came from Human Resources with my boss cc’d informing me that I need better communication skills. She was what I would deemed, hostile (oops that’s one for me ☺). Basically her email stated “what is all of this and how come no one was communicated?” She also went on to give me some suggestions so I can avoid future mishaps as this.

I was pisst. I can’t even try to dress that up, but I did compose myself. I responded to her hostile email with the following:

1) Attachments of the emails previously sent
2) The training schedule
3) Updates

I also went on tell her that maybe she should send some communication stating, it’s the users personal responsibility to pay attention to emails from the technology group. Obviously all the users including her did not! She did not immediately respond directly to me, but contacted my boss who was also cc’d on the emails.

Here’s what happened next. For the sake of keeping this as true as possible, I’m going to write this as in screenplay format ☺

Scene 1 – Blacktina is confronted by her boss.

Crazy White Boss: Blacktina OMG what are you doing?
Blacktina: What are you talking about?
Crazy White Boss: The email you sent to HR. That wasn’t necessary.
Blacktina: Why not? I’m being told I didn’t communicate in which I did and they needed to know that communication had been sent.
Crazy White Boss: Blacktina it doesn’t matter if communication had been sent or not. It matters that we get on the ball with it now.

Scene 2 – While Blacktina holds her breath and thanks God for the mute button.

Blacktina: First of all we’re on the ball with this and have always been. Secondly if the communication doesn’t matter then why am I being called on it?
Crazy White Boss: You know HR they always have something to say.
Blacktina: Yes I know. The problem is they’ll have something to say on my review. And I do have the right to defend myself when I’m being told I didn’t do my job.
Crazy White Boss: Yes Blacktina, but it’s not a big deal.
Blacktina: If so then why are you calling me?
Crazy White Boss: I have to go, just be careful on what you send out.

Again I don’t know why I’m amazed. I’m basically suppose to accept an accusation and never ever defend myself and when I do I’m reprimanded. I’ve now been reprimanded for two things that I have done nothing wrong. Maybe someone can explain to me what should I have done?

There are so many layers of variances that people of color have to deal with in corporate America. Many think racism is as simple as black and white but as we all know it’s not that simple. I often hear and read comments how Blacks need to get over what happened 200+ years ago, especially when we talk about reparations. I say, why don’t YOU get over it. See simple crap like what I just experienced is indeed racism. And you may say No it’s not. But check this out if a white person would of responded the way I did, there’s no doubt that they would have been commended, perhaps their suggestion would have been taken into consideration. When I do it or any other person of color it’s perceived as hostile, petty and unnecessary. Some may think I may be sensitive but when I think about it I was called to the carpet twice in less than an hour for no error on my part. Sensitive is the least of my worries. I have to learn so I’m told how to work around these situations. For an educated degreed woman this is one puzzle I am not sure how to solve, nor do I think I want to. If anybody has any suggestions, kindly let me know. Other than that for all the peeps of color hang in there. In the words of MJ “You are not alone.”

Michael

Like everyone in the entire world I was overwhelmed with great sadness on the passing of Michael Jackson. Phone calls came through, text messages, my Mom was crying, my husband was crying, it was insane. You would of thought we lost a family member, but in a way we did…. Although I didn’t know Mike personally, I personally know his music. He is actually the real first indication of music that I can remember.

As early as 5 years old I recall my parents playing the ABC album I think that’s what it was called. The album cover was a two fold and I distinctly remember Bill Cosby doing some voice over work. I remember how my brother, cousin and I would create dance steps to Dance Machine. Oh and let’s not forget the famous Christmas album. 30 plus years later I’m still playing that album something now my 11 year old daughter is accustomed too. I remember when Mike and his brothers were growing up and left Motown to join CBS Records and produced the album with the hit single “Enjoy Yourself”. Michael Jackson and his brothers gave me my first rhythm to music. I was saddened not because I’m a deranged fan but because Mike was my definition of music. I grew up with him; regardless of blood ties he was a family member. He was like my distant impactful “music” brother. He was there for the good times, the bad times and the growing up times. Mike has been everywhere in my life and that I believe is a space usually reserve for family members, which is what Mike is to me.

Over the years as with any family member I did have my issues with Mike, dare I say I did abandon him for a period of time. Once Thriller came out I knew my brother when a bit astray. Although I loved some of the records on the album namely Lady in my Life, PYT and You Got to be Starting Something, I was not “thrilled” with Billy Jean, Beat it or the title track Thriller, these were the records that really catapulted and set Michael off into another world. A world of acceptance by everyone in which I felt my brother had no time for me or those like me who lived in the inner city. As much as everyone in the ghetto who grew up with Mike is upset, there’s no denying that Thriller or the Bad album were not “our” kind of music. As much as I loved Mike I just knew my brother had changed. He no longer was just a part of my family but a part of a universal family. Now looking back I think I was being selfish about his endeavors to globally branch off musically. These are the times I found myself angry with Mike. I was particularly displeased at his own self-hatred of his image. It’s one thing to get weaves or do some minor cosmetic surgery but when you bleach your skin and totally alter your appearance it’s just sickening.

Being a living legendary pop icon I don’t think Mike realized the powerful message he conveyed when he turned white on purpose. Yes I know there were the vertiligo reports but damm if that were true Mike should be famous for being the first man to naturally turn white. Most vertiligo cases involve blotches of white skin and not your average Caucasian tone. It usually resembles an open wound that’s in the process of healing after the scab has eroded. Mike’s complexion was an unnatural white. Regardless of what some people think if you have enough money you can do anything and Mike proved that is so true! Diana Ross had also bleached her skin but she stopped somewhere in the middle. I know the reports of Joe Jackson calling him ugly as well as the dreadful transition years from cute child star to adolescent can be daunting, just ask Gary Coleman. I remember when the Enjoy Yourself single came out and my cousins saying he wasn’t cute anymore. I’m sure all these factors played a role in Michael’s transition but damm I think personally he could of stopped at the very least when we can clearly see the most drastic change during the Bad album. But as we all know he didn’t. I thought it ironic for him to make a song called Black and White and the lyrics stated it didn’t matter when it was clear that it did matter to Mike. In his view it was apparent that “White” is right. Those actions were so powerful. As a woman of color I was down right pisst off with Mike. I felt he abandoned us and he sent a message to the world how Black was so horrid! But as a typical family member when trouble looms they come back and we forgive.

During Mike’s first molestation trial, he was on all the Black TV. This was the first time in my life I had seen Mike on the NAACP awards not to mention his appearance on the Soul Train music awards. Mike hadn’t been on Soul Train since he danced with his brothers. Oh, and the album out at the time was Dangerous. Finally my brother was coming back to his senses. Remember the Time was the hit single along with a number of other singles that grooved throughout our households. Mike was back, he was jamming and he had our full support. You knew how Black works we always got your Back!! After all this was over, my brother went away again. He married Lisa Marie Presley then divorced her and then married the most homeliest white woman in the world, Debbie Rowe. Again I thought to myself there goes Mike wanting to be white again. I was not prepared for what was next, the children.

Mike’s children look nothing like him pre-surgery which is a clear indication these aren’t his biological children, but perhaps children conceived by two white parents and then claimed by Mike. Most bi-racial children have some visible trait of both races. Even if one child came out looking all white the other may not. Mike’s kids are blond, blue-eyed and as white as the ivory snow. And then he goes to make a 3rd child by a surrogate who is obviously white, though he denied it. As I loved my brother I hated his attack on our self-image. As much as we claim him to be a black man as the best entertainer of all time, the truth is Michael did not want to be black, doesn’t mean he did not want to be my brother, but he just didn’t like the color. It’s as simple as that!

Mike, I Love You and forgive you. You were a conflicted, complicated genius. No matter what issues you had you were the BEST at what you did and that was entertain. Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, etc. can’t touch you. You will go in history as the Beethoven of our time. I am sorry that you had to battle any demons and never had a chance to know someone who truly really loved you and knew you, how could they, when you never had the chance to know who you really were? Rest in Peace for the world and their horrors can’t touch you now.

Love,
Blacktina

Now I Know What DMX Was Talking About

Ya’ll gonna make me lose my mind up in here, up in here. I swear this is how I felt today and for some reason I channeled DMX. While he’s not one of my favorite rappers, not sure if its the pit bull language he speaks or that he just destoryed any potential he had. But for once I’m going to give this brotha some props. Lord knows this verse has truly helped me pass the day.

The Blacktina Chronicles started out as a blog citing my instances as a black/puerto rican woman in corportate America. This blog has evolved into me just writing about what crazy inequalities I see not just in corporate america but in every instance and how it pertains to us. Today I digress, I’m going back to my roots for this article and talk about crazy corporate america.

Bitches! The next topic on my list and yes its related to this. I don’t know if it’s because I’m originally from New York and for the past 3 years have worked in the South that I find it hard to keep my cool with some of these crazy bitches. It’s no secret that I work in technology, which trust me is no longer the creme de la creme position it was say around 10 years ago. Technology in most organizations gets shitted on and I kid you not some people think you are as close to God in making miracles. But when you don’t make these miracles there is so much Hell to pay. Not to mention your schedule and how you manage your time is something that is hardly considered. It’s do it now, as I say, or else!! And here’s the or else; yesterday I was completely busy, I had worked all weekend including staying till 10:00pm on Friday. It was the first day of new image roll out, which users are unnerved, something new is coming their way and lots of hand holding is involved. While I’m trying to do 20 things at one time, I was approaced by this girl, I wouldn’t even call her a woman, after you see what she did, you’ll know why. Well anyhoo I was approached by this girl who needed a projector for a meeting that was starting at 10:00am, the time of the approach was 9:00am. I quickly retrieved the projector and then was asked for a screen. Screens are not handled by my department which this girl knew. I told her to contact Office Services. I even checked afterwards to see if the projector worked OK and if there was anything else she needed.

Today I found there was something else she needed. She needed for me to contact Office Services instead. I found this out because she went to HR and reported me. HR contacted my boss and told him that he needed to have a talk with me about providing exceptional service. Mind you I bust my ass working all weekend. Now funny thing is everyone in my office including her knows who they have to call and for what. This girl was a former secretary who kicked, screamed and probably sucked her way in so many ways to the top. She was just a secretary 2 years ago, now she’s some Department Administrator bullshit. Now I’m not knocking the girl for being promoted but I am questioning the who the fuck does she think she is mode?? I’m not sure if I’m more irate with her for even going to HR with an issue that I didn’t get her a screen or at HR for even listening???

I would think that HR had much more pressing issues than to deal with such trivial complaints. But apparently I was mistaken. One thing I am and I’m sure many of our folks both black and latinos are is self conscious about work. We triple check, we have to be 200% better, we know the standard line, the list goes on and on. Yet one little I didn’t get up and run for you is cause to go to HR and then for HR to approach my boss. I bust my ass all weekend, actually ran the show. Made sure I came in extra early on Monday and did all I can do to touch base with my users. Yet I get reprimanded for not running and getting this girl a screen. Not once did HR tell her well 1) You suppose to get your own screen 2) Inform that I had been real busy all weekend and 3) This isn’t my job. I guess their feeling is I should be the next coming of Wonder Woman and just do everything and the one little thing I don’t know then I need a talking to.

To say I was outrage is putting it mildly. I really felt DMX or better Colin Ferguson, the man who shot up everyone on the LIRR because he had a bad day at work. Trust me I don’t feel like shooting up this chick but I swear I wish I could kick her ass!!! Give her a real Bronx beat down, maybe that’s too drastic But I do wish I could defend myself and tell her and HR off. I mean really a screen?? I guess what really gets to me is the back stabbing way of telling on me. I am so curious to know what was the conversation about, what were her feelings, how did she express them?? Did she think this little black bitch is going to do what I say, if not I’m going to make sure she’s reprimanded. Did HR say, oh yes you were totally right, Kissie should of ran and got your screen, I mean WHAT??? That’s the part that infuriates me. It’s the issue that I can’t defend myself and then why do I even have to, it’s NOT my job to get a freaking screen?!?!?!?. Isn’t my work for the past month during this rollout sufficient to document how much I’ve been doing that something as trivial as I didn’t jump high enough is even thought of!! That’s the part that really gets to me! The nerve or as my 5th grade school teacher would say “the Audacity”! She was rocking this before President Obama .

I’m trying my best to keep my cool and just know that this is another day that too shall pass. The one lesson I’m learning from this is there nothing you can ever do that would ever completely please these assholes. I would like to see them teach that in Diversity training!!! In the meantime I’m going to do my best to make sure I don’t lose my mind up in here, up in here!

You Got Served

Serving others for a living is an interesting art. It takes a certain kind of individual to take food orders and then serve them with such class and dignity. This art form usually entitles the server to a tip and at times a quite generous one. Well that all depends….. I love tipping I have no issue with giving someone a tip. But I’m a strong proponent of great service not good service but great. If service is great I’m tipping like no tomorrow but when service is horrible I wouldn’t tip a penny.

Today my family and I had an interesting time at the Original House of Pancakes in Charlotte, NC. After a grueling workout at Peak Fitness Center my husband, daughter and I were starving. I guess we were going through the Michael Phelps syndrome where you work out burn some carbs and then gorge like no tomorrow. Unfortunately we’re not Michael Phelps so I guess we most likely counteracted our workout, oh well Now getting back to the subject at hand as my family and I prepared to chop down some pecan pancakes we were greeted somewhat coldly by our waiter who I will refer to as Mr. Snotty. Mr. Snotty first greeted us by asking us for our drink order. We all agreed to start with water. He served our water and did not offer straws, which was the first eyebrow raised. Next he took our order and then served our food. Never once did he come by and refill our water and he never once came by asked us how we were doing, was the food alright, nothing. Mr. Snotty avoided us like the plague. At first I thought maybe it could be that we were funky from the gym, but trust me the answer is No. Mr. Snotty never came that close to us and although we worked out we were not funky! The other thing that got to me was Mr. Snotty’s interaction with the other customers. Mr. Snotty was no longer Mr. Snotty. He was nice and attentive to the other customers. At first I thought well maybe the other customers we’re ordering lobster pancakes or something who knows, but nope they were ordering the regular menu items. The only difference between my family and the other customers were that they were white and we’re black. OK wait, before you think I’m being sensitive – guess what Mr. Snotty was? He was Hispanic!

Being a Black Puerto Rican I know where Mr. Snotty was coming from. He was suffering from the minority superiority racism complex. The basis for this complex is when other minorities are prejudice against other minorities. To keep it real I’m just going to focus on the black and hispanic relationship. Hispanics for some reason tend to think they’re better than the morenos, the piertos, the negros, the mollos, trust me the deragotory name calling can go on and on. These terms are the equivalent of calling someone the “N” word. I don’t know what is or what they have been told. No excuse me, I do know because I am a Puerto Rican who grew up learning these terms. And had family members who told me that Piertos stink, their houses are dirty and they steal from you, there’s more to add but I just don’t have the time. These sentiments were shared by family members but fortunately not my immediate family. My father was as Afro-centric as you can get. He taught me the ignorance of our people and how hypocritical they were. The Puerto Rican rages against African-Americans yet they bang that conga and cook African slave food like no other. Yet they’ll denounce they’re African ancestry in a minute while promoting the 1% European ancestors and .5% Taino ancestor!

I don’t know which Hispanic ethnicity Mr. Snotty was but I could tell from his treatment that he thought less of me and my family. Yet he was serving us, ain’t that some shit. You are serving me yet you think we’re lesser than you. He had no idea what we were, what we’ve accomplished. All he saw was a family of mollos and for that he treated us like the gum on his shoe. All I could do was crack up. I refuse to let this man know that I too speak Spanish and have a cultural connection. All I could think of is if he has the audacity to treat us like crap then I have the right to deny this pendejo (spanish for Punk) a tip. And that’s exactly what we did. I told my husband he better not leave this man a tip. My husband the diplomat tried to reason with me but as I showed him this man’s actions he finally saw it for what is was worth. We left the restaurant without leaving a tip and felt good about it. If Mr. Snotty thought we were shit and not worthy then we’ll act unworthy of tipping.

There’s a part of us of who always wants to be perceived as right no matter how wrong the issue is. I believe tipping is one of those things where many of us excuse rudeness and attention and still tip. Guess what, we’re in a recession and I’m too grown to have someone treat my beautiful family of mollos like shit! The one good thing that came out of this is we taught our daughter a lesson, I’m sorry she had to witness this act of racism, but I rather she be aware and that was greatest tip of them all. Teaching her how to recognize inequality in any form even from your own ignorant people. With qualities like these she could never lose and for that I’m grateful to Mr. Snotty. This is one tip that will last with my daughter for a lifetime.