Women of color and women of non-color have different ways of expressing their opinion. Black and Latina women are known to be vibrant and vocally animated when it comes to expressing their opinion. This characteristic is not only in Corporate America but throughout our everyday lives. These attributes are the ingredients of what makes us mothers, daughters, sisters, wives and friends. Unfortunately, to the dismay of others these ingredients sometimes result in a tasteless recipe. This exuberant character is usually mistaken for an individual who is perceived as hyperactive and maddening, unlike the perception of our white counterparts.
If you have ever been in a meeting with a white person, which I’m sure anyone reading this has, you have undoubtedly witnessed your white colleague having their very own animated moment. I once attended a meeting in which a white colleague of mine had what seemed like a breakdown. We were having a meeting on how we could assist another department in enhancing their business developmental activities through the use of technology. This colleague verbally assaulted the Business Director and her staff. She basically told them they have been slow to act and now are looking at us to bail them out. She went on to say some other eventful phrases. As I sat in shock all I could wonder is what is the woman on. My goodness she must of lost of her mind. I was almost 200% sure that either she was quitting that day and going out with a bang or my boss was going to let her have it. Well folks, the rest of the day, week, month, etc. heck for the whole time till I left nothing negative about this event was ever said. Furthermore, similar events such as this were repeated quite often. And then I heard it one day, Jane has problems, her husband left her, she’s always been outspoken, her kids are doing bad in school and oh the best she’s currently on anti-depressants. All of these excuses for Jane’s actions. The word “excuse” should not be taken lightly. Jane had carte blanche to act anyway she wanted to in a meeting because she supposedly had a jacked up personal life. Her outbursts and negative reactions were not only tolerated but they were understandable and met with much empathy. Now let’s flip the script or how they say in hip hop – Remix. I too have had my little outburst, but no where near the same performance as my white colleague. I did not curse or insult anyone, yet my performance was not met with the same excusive compassion like that of my white counterpart. Instead I was spoken to by my manager about how to properly present myself in a meeting and how I should also work on controlling how I express my feelings as well as having concern for others. As this gibberish was being conveyed to me all I could think of was, what makes my actions different than that of Jane. I disagreed with several of my colleagues and my boss, however my disagreement was conducted in a professional manner and I made sure to keep my “corporate” voice. My actions were indisputable; I was adamant about my position and presented my views in an honest manner. No screaming, cursing or insulting, yet I was called to the table and then I understood it, I’m not on Prozac, my keeping it real scares them more than someone who is publicly unstable.
If anyone were curious about my life I too had some issues. I grew in the South Bronx, not the historical part, well maybe it’s now historical since Jimmy Carter visited and declared it a war zone, my brother was a habitual criminal now in jail doing 9 to 18, my husband once had an issue with drugs, trust me the list can go on, but there is no excuse for me. Should I have worn my problems on my sleeve? I think not.
We are not afforded the same liberty of, “if your personal life is not OK we’re here for you.” If I would have mentioned my brother, those people would have bugged out. They would have treated any disagreement as a direct insinuation that I would sick my brother on them. One may argue, hey Jane is honest about what’s going on, maybe so should have I. Realistically it’s not the same, my issues would have been considered stereotypical and my hiring would have been considered a regret. We know these life instances have to be secretly maintained in order for us to survive in Corporate America, which means our real feelings no matter how passionate they are have to be reserved. It’s OK to be nuts and act like it as long as you have good excuse, but it’s different when you’re of color, the same excuse does not apply to you and this is why you should never forget Prozac beats Keeping it Real every time.
