Black and Having Your Back!

I just love being black!  There are so many wonderful aspects to being a person of color. Ranging from our flavor of essence, our pride, our rhythm, let’s face it more than any other race we got that under lock (smile), to our endurance, the raising of our children, there’s no better child raised than a black child (give me a AMEN on that) black parents don’t play.  There are so many reasons I love being black, but there’s one reason that makes me especially proud and that is when being Black we have your Back!  Yes, there’s black on black crime, there are the haters (Bob Johnson); but no one and I mean no one can ever deny that whenever there is something jumping off with our folks in a negative manner, despite our differences we got their Back!  This backing each other up pride has been subtlety demonstrated with the current Presidential Democratic race.  Now that I think of it subtle is probably too subtle a word to use considering how Obama has been pounding Hillary in the polls.  As Hillary once led the way as the surefire democratic nominee, the tide abruptly changed when the Clintons especially Bill decided to insult and attempt to scar Mr. Obama’s reputation.  

Let’s take this back about a year or so; if you had asked an African American who would they vote for between Hillary and Obama, a good percentage would of said Hillary.  This was proven in the polls, statistics, whatever.  The Black community has had this love affair with President Clinton.  He’s the one who has come close to many as being the first Black President. I object to this notion, due to the fact he’s not Black.  Just because he can play the saxophone, smoke a little weed and cheat on his wife that doesn’t constitute anyone from being Black.  Quite frankly it’s an insult when we call him that because we’re insulting our Black men.  I give it to Bill and Hillary they seemed to have a comfortable presence with people of color more than many other politician.  And I honestly believe a lot of what they say is truthful and they probably are good hearted people.  However, when the going got tough we kind of saw the true color of the Clintons.

Here’s how the story goes, Hillary had the upper hand.  It was predicted that Hillary would have the Democratic nomination. Analysts went so far to even predict a new era of the Clinton presidency legacy. But here’s what happened Obama started gaining a little edge.  First he won the Iowa caucus, which shocked a lot of us, me included; not because he wasn’t qualified, but Iowa??  I mean, are there any people of any color in Iowa?  I guess it didn’t matter because Obama won it not by race but by his vision which is what we all want.  The response from the Clintons was not pretty. The parade of insults was vehemently fired off.  They went so far as to misquote him as well as accuse him of working for a slum lord.  Obama countered the slum lord argument by stating he did 5 hours of work as a  1^st year associate.  Mind you it could have been 5 hours in a day, week or month.  1^st year associates at large firms have no decision on the cases they are assigned to.  Their position is as menial as a file clerk.  Trust me being in a law firm I can attest to 1^st year blues and I’m here to tell you it’s horrific.  Funny enough Hillary who’s also an attorney knew this, yet she phrased this insult as if Obama had ties and a long standing relationship with this slum lord.  How ironic for a man who’s been fighting for civil principles…..

Although many of us may not be versed in the 1^st year associate culture at a law firm, we are well versed in knowing when you’re trying to knock one of us down.  Even those who were not Obama supporters recognize that he has been leading a clean campaign.  And although he may not had all of our initial support, we in no way want to see him being attacked for no good reason.  If you notice after this so called pulverizing of insults Obama’s popularity shot thru the roof.   Analysts have speculated his vision is finally coming through to America.  Americans are on the change campaign and all that.  Honestly these analysts have ruined campaigns.  Let me switch to the “BA” (Black Analyst) side, when you mess with one of us for no good reason, we are not too happy with you.  Bill and Hillary became over confident with the Black vote. Unfortunately for them they weren’t aware of our little back up secret.  You would have thought they had a clue when Black America was somewhat on OJ’s side (that’s a whole other story).  No, they took for granted that they had us in the bag.  And honestly they probably did until they insulted one of our good men.  See we got enough on our plate. For us to genuinely admire a white person, you got to come strong and most importantly be truthful.  What was displayed was demeaning rhetoric and none of us want to see any of our good men treated this way.  On the real we see enough, sometimes too much where we can’t say a word.  But this time it’s different, we don’t have to speak, just VOTE! And voting is what we’ve done.  I personally know tons of people including myself who were originally for Hillary, but when the insults came towards my brother, my mind set quickly changed.  It was almost as Bill and Hillary were showing their asses so to speak.  Over confidence has been the demise of many of the powerful, hence Rudy Giuliani and the New England Patriots J had to get that in I’m a New York fan! 

See despite what many may perceive Black America as being, the one thing we definitely do well is have each other’s back!  Barack Obama is a good brotha.  None of us want to see him publicly destroyed and vilified, we see enough of that.  So when you pick on one of ours expect us to act like Big Mama and tell baby boy to come on home because we got his back! 

Human Value – What Are We Worth?

Recently in an interview I was asked the following question, “Why do you want to increase your salary by $15,000?”  To me the answer was obvious, duh, I want more money, how simple can that be.  You don’t have to be an economics major or a financial planner to know that a higher salary usually equates to a more comfortable life style.  I wondered why would anyone ask such a dumb question.  But then it dawned on me, the interviewer wanted to know if I were worth the additional $15 grand, basically who am I and what is it that I do that I should be granted this 25% bump in salary.  Besides my obvious answer which I did not share because I knew it was interview sabotage, this inquisition made me think of how do I market myself, how do I pump myself up and why am I hesitant for lack of a better word with this issue of promoting my self-worth. 

As I thought quick on my feet I answered some of the obvious which was my education coupled with experience and achievements.  Furthermore, I used words such as asset, strategy, initiative, sustainability, etc.  The more I thought about my answer which I was pleased with in the end; I couldn’t help but wonder how many of us in this instance flutter at the task of promoting ourselves.  How many of us are so happy to get in the door that we sometimes devalue ourselves?  Have you ever thought to yourself, OK, I’m asking for this, but willing to take a little less.  Are we sometimes so desperate to get a job that we know we’re worth more but lessen our marketability just to get the job?  I think the answer for some of us is a definite YES.  I regrettably admit that myself with a Masters Degree and over 20 years experience still struggle with self promotion.  As I evaluated myself through this self-discovery process, I realized there shouldn’t be much of a reason why I have an issue with self-promotion.  I mean I’m the first in my immediate family to graduate from college let alone obtain a Masters Degree and the first one in my immediate family to own a home.  This is quite accomplishment coming from a poor background.  And then it hit me, an Aha moment!  Did my growing up without certain privileges have an effect on my decline of self-promotion?

Growing up we weren’t poor in the sense where we had no shoes, but poor where we knew some things were lacking.  We were on food stamps, Medicaid and my mother was on Section 8.  As you start to grow up and realize you’re living on a fixed income provided by the government, you begin to notice there are things you don’t have, like your mother won’t buy Chip Ahoy Chocolate Chip cookies she rather buy a no name brand that sells their cookies 2 packs for a $1 (if you’re from my neck of the hood you know what I’m talking about J).  I never realized growing up like this had any implications on my life.  After all I was happy and had a healthy normal childhood, yet as an adult I realized the subconscious feeling of not having.  And in some way I guess I feel that as I long as I’m working and making some type of money that is all that matters.  It may not be exactly what I’m worth but at least its more than nothing.  It also dawned on me that I may be not be the only one who thinks this way. 

Whenever I come across a white counterpart I am not surprised if they make more than I do, it’s like they have their own set of rules, the white salary scale and the black salary scale.  I am beginning to wonder if the HR people involved with hiring think the same why I do or as people of color do we transcend the perception of “Yes Boss I take whatever you got, make no difference to me better to have than have nothing at all”, without realizing that the lower salary and hard work is like having nothing at all!  Do these people think well you’ve been poor all your life you’re not use too much so why start now; as oppose to a white salary in which they already have more and paying them more is just a standard because how else will they continue to have more.

You would think someone like me with a Masters degree and 20 years of experience would have no problem with self assertion and demand top compensation wherever I go.  Yet I reasoned that if I could go less they’ll take me because I’m cheap, sort of in-state outsourcing.  But what I had failed to realize was that I have bills, I have a child, I have a college fund to pay for, I have student loans for myself to be paid with all these I haves I cannot afford to be a “have not”.  And in this instance thinking less of myself would grant me just that!  Eight months ago I took a job that was touted as right up my alley within my field.  It was the same comfortable spot.  Though I knew I could do more, I was complacent in what I already do and basically why rock the boat.  Well, (sigh), I should of followed my credentials and my inner drive.  I’m now employed at an organization that treats my position as one step above Office Services (fax, copy, mail, supplies, etc.), mind you I’m an Applications Trainer.  I’m accounted for coverage.  If I’m out one day someone has to cover for me and vice a versa.  Because I work the late shift, (can’t believe I’m referring to this as a shift but that’s what it is) if I’m out one day my 2 other co-workers suffer and have to work till 6:00pm.  I’m not allowed to make any personal appointments throughout the day, if so I’ll be charged a portion of my vacation time.  This list can go on and on. 

Many of my friends have told me to speak up and tell them I’m worth this and that and explain this is not the job description that was presented to me during my three interviews.  I even have a hard copy of the job description, which doesn’t describe changing toner out of everybody’s printer!  While I definitely agree with most of my friends, I have to on the whole respectfully disagree.  See my lack of self-worth got me into this trouble.  I feel this is God’s way of telling me “You get what you ask for” and yes I asked for this.  I should have been more confident, value my education, the steps I took to get there; how I went to school at night and worked a full time job during day; how I went for my Masters and basically ignored my then 5 year old for about 2 years.  Not to mention that I graduated with a GPA of 3.6 and 3.8 respectively Bachelors and Masters.  And here I am as my mother would say “going around pussy footing”.  It’s no one’s fault but my own.  However, instead of wallowing in all this muck I’m choosing to learn a valuable lesson.  I’m now at a point where I’m demanding top dollar and benefits.  My motto is another candidate couldn’t come better than me.  I’m still young, intelligent and the experience to back up anything that comes my way!

Lastly, upon answering the question about my worth, I concluded my answer with the following simple yet powerful statement, “If you don’t believe in yourself who would!”  The interviewer gave me a sly smile in a I see where you’re coming from kind of way.  I vow to continue with this sentiment throughout this journey through corporate America and all other endeavors that I choose to purse!  As my cousin would say “I am Blessed and Highly Favored”, I now know it’s time for me to start acting like it!