Resolutions are the epitome of goal achieving. If you can adhere to a resolution there has to be a sense of accomplishment coupled with targeted discipline. For the past couple of years, wait I’m stretching a bit, I really mean for the past 10-15 years I kind of gave up on resolutions. I’ve gone with the flow of learning from experience and moving on. But this year I’m going to be a little different and mandate myself a resolution. My New Year’s resolution for 2009 is to give up the word “Nigger”. I’m sure many of you who read my blog may think I should have given this up a long time ago and you’re probably right, but if you would have asked me a few months ago to give it up I would of said, please, it’s our word, we can use it cause we know how to use it right. The word Nigger to black people does not have the same connotation as the way a descendant of slave master would use it and that is why we felt we had the privilege of saying it. Not only that but understand it’s the one thing our slave masters created and their descendants can’t use. Now while I got plenty of joy out of saying the word, I have to admit of lately it has provided me with sorrow and has caused me to reflect on the ugliness and atrocity of such a word.
The discontinuance of this word occurred to me under two separate occasions. The first occasion is when I was talking to a white colleague about a very passionate topic. Feeling grown and having the disposition of saying whatever I want, I uttered the infamous “N” word. Mind you my colleague was white, do you know I turned around and apologize to her. The reason I did was the pure look of horror on her face. She looked at me as if I had said something vile about her mother. It was such a look of disgust that caused me to re-examine how I use this word. The second time and the final, I ain’t trying to do a three strikes bid, but the final time was during my bus ride to work. This young African American man got on the bus, I should of known he was going to be an issue when he got on the bus with a full iHop breakfast. I can understand a sausage biscuit from McDonalds, but nope boyfriend got on with a full meal and ate it while on the bus! But back to business not only did he have a full breakfast but he ate this while listening to his MP3 player. For some reason his music was so loud that you can hear every word on every song. The particular song that was playing was a song by JadaKiss. I could tell it was him by his signature laugh. Throughout the song and several records the word Nigger was shouted out as if saying Praise the Lord. As I looked at this man a few times aggravated by the loudness of the music I couldn’t help but observe the other passengers. They too were annoyed at the music but as I looked at them it wasn’t so much the volume but the content. The fellow passengers were of all ethnicities, Black, White, Asian, Indian, Hispanic, etc. Their faces portrayed the pain and disgust associated with this word. I have to say never in my near 40 years of life have I looked at such an event and was actually instantly changed.
It’s shocking that some of us are still left in the dark about the evilness of this word. I laughed when the NAACP buried it. I guess then I wasn’t ready but now I am. For 2009 and thereafter I will no longer spew the “N” word. It will never get the justification from me as being something we own. I can own alot of things but trust me that’s not one of them. It’s not like a stock where it can appreciate. This word is demoralizing and depreciating our race more than everything else. Instead of glorifying this word we need to protect that it’s never uttered again. Folks it’s ugly and damaging. As we move on to having the first black President, it’s time to really let this word die! I wish I could say Rest in Peace, but somehow this seems ironic when there was never any peace with vocalization of this word. Well folks, Happy New Year! Here’s wishing you the best for 2009. Hopefully as a race we can all have some profound moments that can help improve who we are and how we are represented. We are on our way, keep praying and moving forward. Love, Blacktina
Black America and the N-word: